Schema therapy is a therapeutic approach that focuses on helping clients identify and confront their ingrained beliefs about themselves, others, and the world around them. These beliefs are referred to as Schemas, and they develop when our emotional needs for safety, connection, autonomy, limits, and spontaneity and play, go unmet early in our lives. This type of therapy aims to help you meet these needs in healthy ways, and develop new patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
Schemas can develop from a range of different early life experiences, not only from abuse or significant trauma. Sometimes people who grew up in a loving household develop schemas because of negative experiences outside of the home, exposure to death or illness, or because our caregivers didn’t know how to meet our specific needs.
There are 19 schemas that we assess for in schema therapy. Here is a brief description of each:
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Abandonment and Instability
Belief that others will leave you, that others are unreliable, that relationships are fragile, that significant others will die, or that you will be abandoned in favour of someone better.
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Mistrust/Abuse
Belief that others are abusive, manipulative, selfish, want to harm you, and cannot be trusted. Can include a sense that you always get the “short end of the stick”.
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Emotional Deprivation
Belief that your needs will never be met, and that others will not be able to provide you with warmth & companionship; understanding & empathy; and/or protection & guidance.
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Defectiveness/Shame
Belief that there is something fundamentally defective about you that, if others were to see, would make you unlovable. This can be internal (personality traits, impulses, desires, etc.) or external (social awkwardness, appearance)
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Social Isolation/Alienation
Belief that you are different/isolated from others, and do not belong to anygroup/community.
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Dependence/Incompetence
Belief that you are unable to handle daily responsibilities competently without assistance.
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Vulnerability to Harm
Belief that the world is a dangerous place and that catastrophe can strike at any time (e.g., medical emergencies; environmental disasters; victimisation by criminals; emotional catastrophes such as going crazy)
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Enmeshment
Feeling like you do not have an identity separate from one (or more) significant others
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Failure
Belief that you will fail, or cannot perform well enough, in areas of achievement.
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Entitlement/Grandiosity
Belief that you are special or more important than others, and that the rules do not apply to you (even if this harms others).
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Insufficient Self-Control
Belief that you cannot accomplish your goals, especially when the tasks are boring, repetitive, or frustrating. Difficulty resisting impulses.
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Subjugation
Suppressing your own needs, or emotions, in order to avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment from others.
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Self-Sacrifice
Excessive focus on meeting the needs of others, to the detriment of your own needs, in order to prevent yourself from feeling selfish, protect others from pain, or maintain connection with others.
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Approval Seeking
Focus on obtaining approval, recognition, attention from others, or on fitting in. Self-esteem is dependent on how others view you, rather than how you view yourself.
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Negativity/Pessimism
Belief that things will always go wrong, or that you will experience the worst possible outcome. Difficulty acknowledging the positive aspects of life.
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Emotional Constriction
Inhibiting your own actions, emotions, or communication, in order to avoid feelings of shame or disapproval from others.
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Fear of Losing Control
Excessive inhibition of your own emotions, actions, or expressions, from fear that you will lose control (resulting in dire consequences).
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Unrelenting Standards
Very high internal standards of your behaviour and performance that can result in feelings of pressure, difficulty slowing down, and hypercriticalness of yourself.
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Punitiveness
This can be directed towards yourself, towards others, or both. Punitiveness involves a hypercriticalness of your own/others mistakes, suffering, or imperfections. It also includes a belief that you/others should be punished or held accountable for these indiscretions.
Parts of the Self
During therapy we will identify the different parts of the self that have developed in order to cope with these schemas. Formally these parts are called Schema Modes, however I am going to refer to them as parts.
You might already recognise some parts in yourself – have you ever known you need to do something, but really didn’t want to? You might hear the argument happening in your head like this:
“I should go to the gym, we are paying for this membership and not using it. I know I will feel better afterwards.”
“But I really can’t be bothered. I’ve had a long day at work, I need to rest – I can always go tomorrow!”
Or maybe you make a mistake, and here a voice in your head that sounds something like this:
“You are so stupid, why did you do that? Now everyone thinks you’re an idiot.”
That is an example of parts at work. These parts don’t always agree with each other, and sometimes it can feel as though a part completely takes over and we don’t realise until afterwards. Maybe we binge eat, or explode with anger, or feel like it is the end of the world after something small happens, and only afterwards do we look back and wonder – why did I react like that?
Parts can be separated into a few different categories, including the vulnerable parts which carry our schemas, parts that surrender to, avoid, or overcompensate for our schemas, punitive & demanding parts, and healthy adult parts. These parts are there to help us cope with our schemas. For example, we may have a failure schema that a part of us overcompensates for by working extra hours to complete an assignment, or we could have an abandonment schema that our avoidant part deals with by avoiding any serious relationships.
Therapy will involve figuring out what parts are relevant to you and working out healthier ways to cope with the emotions that schemas bring up.
If you feel like schema therapy might be a good fit for the challenges you are facing, or if you have any questions, you are welcome to reach out 🙂
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Jessica's Approach
Collaborative
I take the time to explore and understand the problems you're facing, so that we can uncover insights and develop interventions that are individually tailored to your journey. I may be a psychologist, but only you are the expert in your own life!
Human First
I encourage you to come as you are to sessions. Whether that’s cracking jokes, sitting on the floor, or swearing like a sailor (as long as you don’t mind a little of the same from me!). I want therapy to feel like a safe space where you can present in a way that feels most natural to you.
Flexibility
I offer both face-to-face and telehealth sessions depending on your location and your needs. I also have after-hours appointments available to help you access support around a busy life.